Tag Archives: Thoughts

Believe that It Would Be A Great Day…

I didn’t remember what time I slept, it was a deep sleep.  I must be recovering from some slept debt the week earlier.  I woke up this morning, my head on 2 cushions over an open book.  The book which I purchased over Amazon.com had arrived in a box at my doorstep the previous evening – Grand Livre de Cuisine Alain Ducasse’s Desserts and Pastries by Frederic Robert, I managed to read only the preface

I found the book title a couple of weeks ago while looking at the Sur La Table website.  It was an autographed copy and would cost US$195.  I had read that Alain Ducasse had previously worked for Mr Gaston Lenôtre during the summer months in 70s during his apprenticeship, and Frederick Robert spent “a season with the great Gaston Lenôtre in Paris, for intense study in basic and classic pastry”.  He wrote the original French version of “Grand Livre,” named Best Dessert Book in the World by The Gourmand World Cookbook Awards in 2002.  This English version won the James Beard Foundation Award in 2007.  ”He’s more about ingredients, flavors, using the best product.  He’s of the Ducasse school- product freshness, texture, flavors. And a mix of flavors inside the dessert.”  Couldn’t find it in Barnes & Nobles, I found the book on Amazon.com later.

I stared at the clock and it was 5.29, at that point I couldn’t decide if it is evening or morning.  Then I recalled arriving back at my apartment from school at 7pm the night before, so it was time to get up for school.  It was so amazing, I did not set the alarm and I actually woke up at the right time.  Usually I would need some help – a wake up call from BK, yes, a wake-up call from overseas everyday.  Usually it is from Singapore, but now it could be from Hong Kong, Korea, or Australia or US in the next 4 months.  He couldn’t call me today as my mobile phone ran out of pre-paid value the previous day.  I decided today was going to be a great day!   

As I left my apartment at 6.45am, the sky was dark and gloomy, which was unusual.  I stood at the bus stop, half the sky above me was covered in dark clouds, and the other half in the direction of school was gray.  It was windy and comfortably cool.  It was 7.02am.  I saw the familiar Mexican man dropping off at the bus stop at the cross junction, we had both waited for the bus in vain the previous day and aborted the wait at 7.15am, he walked to work a couple of stops away while I hopped into April’s car.  I will see him at the bus stop almost every morning if he manages to catch the bus connections, he needs 4 bus connections from his home near Galleria to work at Memorial area.  I have no complaints - I only need 2. 

It started pouring heavily the moment we got on bus 40.  I was really thankful.  I was also thankful I was in a passenger seat and not the driver’s seat.  A couple of stops later, I got off at Ella @ 34th Street.  Still pouring.  While waiting for the pedestrian signal to turn green in my favour, I saw my next connection 23 arriving at the bus stop.  I got on the bus on time.

“Today will be a good day!”, the man in gray beard exclaimed to me.  I see this elderly man everyday, even when I missed the bus and took the next, he would be there too.  He wears a uniform with Cornerstone logo.  The last time he spoke to me was many weeks ago, I was reading a book on Julia Child.  He knew about her too.  Curious, I asked him why he thought so.  He starting sprouting “wizard” and “witches”.  With the downpour, I could barely hear him.  ”It is pouring, the witch will stay home, so today will be a good day”, I heard him this time.  Obviously noticing my ignorance, he further explained.  So he was referring to the Wizard of Oz and the Wicked Witch of the West.  I had no idea about the wizard or the witch.  But I believed that today will be a great day!  “Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch! Ding Dong!…” He broke into a tune.  Ha!  The impatient bus driver nearly drove off when he didn’t get up to get off at the requested stop.  What a perspective!  I cherished this positive insight from a stranger early in the morning.

I did a google search and realised that “…Dorothy confronts the Wicked Witch of the West, throws a bucket of water on her, and the Witch melts into a puddle of scum…”.  So the elderly man was right!  Today indeed  was a great day!

In the pastry lab, we would make Baba dough and Frozen Bombe today.  First recipe - with Jennifer as my partner, we did our Baba dough differently from the other 3 groups, we decided to mix the dough in the mixer, and leave the melted butter out, only to pour it over the dough in a metal container, cover and proof.  The other groups had mixed the butter into the dough before proofing.  Chef assured us both ways would work.  An hour later, we got a little worried when we saw the dough had not risen much.  Have we put in the yeast?  Yes, we did!  And he said expectantly, we shall see later.  Then when the rest of the class started to roll the dough, we still got to mix the butter into the slightly-risen dough in the mixer.  We were once again iffy… As it turned out, our dough was easily rolled into smooth ball without flour, as Chef had said about the Baba dough.  The mix from the other teams were stickier and required flour.  We learnt our first lesson – explore and believe.  Cool!

Next we started on Vanilla Ice Cream, which was to go into making Frozen Bombe.  I had scrambled my vanilla sauce before on medium heat so I was careful.  Instead of low heat I did the last time, I tried medium low instead, things went smoothly… the bubbles started to disappear, indicating the sauce was about to be ready.  It happened again, this time was better but just as bad? - no scrambled egg chunks but many tiny egg crumbs formed and they just wouldn’t go through the sieve.  Robert came over and exclaimed wow, scrambled eggs!  Chef came over with his brows frowned, and he asked me to get him some bacon from cuisine lab.  That time, I was not sure if I should be amused or to feel guilty as I was the stirrer who made the sauce.  We skipped our 10am break to redo the sauce.  Things went smoothly this time.  Another lesson learnt - stir vanilla sauce on Low heat till nape.  We were the last to use the ice cream machine, and got to learn from Chef how to clean the parts.  Nice!

~Strawberry Sorbet Prep~

~Strawberry Sorbet Prep~

We managed to catch up with the rest of the class.  While doing the  strawberry sorbet which would also go into making the bombe, I decided to level the entire small container into a HUGE basin so we could get the temperature lowered to about 10 deg C quickly.  Jennifer agreed and it  worked, though it sure looked exaggerated.  We managed to whip up the sorbet, freeze it and mold the metal container with an outer layer of vanilla ice cream and an inner layer of strawberry sorbet.  We would complete it tomorrow with the vanilla parfait and joconde biscuit.  Jennifer said to me, sometimes we thought things got messed up, but they still turned out the way we wantedIt surely did! 

The lunch was hearty today, we were really hungry.  The Thursday Chef’s session today was conducted by Mr LeNotre.  Every great musician, poets and chefs need more than great skills, … what is more important is to inspire, he shared.  It is like part of a chain, every great chef is inspired by people who are inspired by people who are inspired by people who are… the chain continues.  He recommended 2 readings – Becoming a Chef by Andrew Dornenburg and Karen Page, Chef’s Story, edited by Dorothy Hamilton and Patric Kuh.  I had read the first book and a few chapters of the second a while back before I decided to make a career switch.  I was then reading the books as a book junkie, now I decided it should make more sense.  I carried these 2 books as part of 2 luggage loads of books to Houston.  I was to re-read the books and complete the rest during my 6 month stay in Houston.

~ Hearty Lunch ~

~ Hearty Lunch ~

It was 3pm.  Sarah offered to make a detour on her way back home to drop me off at Colquitt @ S Shepherd.  It was drizzling. I was to meet up with Chef Dominique at 3.45pm at his restaurant Au Petit Paris.  Chef Dominique was a Chef-Instructor with CIAML till a year back.  I was meeting him regarding a voluntary internship in 3 week’s time.  A day earlier, Mr LeNotre had advised me when I informed him about the meeting, Be impeccable.  “If students think Chef Philippe is strict, then Chef Dominique is many times more”, said Mr LeNotre.  I was actually quite excited, my friends had pointed out the “sadist” in me – I am not sure if I agree with the word, but once again I felt a familiar nudge within me.  I had enjoyed and thrived in rigorous training sessions and hours in my teen years…  For a long time, I have been drifting, I think.  That feeling was lost for far too long.  I had consulted Chef Philippe a day earlier.  Chef Philippe would be my Chef-Instructor when I start my level 2 Pastry in 3 week’s time, about the same week I was to intern at the restaurant.  He gave me the Okay to do a 4 sessions per week internship after class so long as “you come to class by 8…”, “… don’t complain” etc.  I promised him I won’t, I asked for it, I guess.

I met Chef Dominique in the kitchen as I entered from the back door.  He led me to the dining area.  After a brief exchange of Am I okay working the hours?  How long I can work?  What makes me come from Singapore to Houston and attend this particular school? etc.  He said my main role as an intern is to garnir (sounds like, I think.  I wasn’t sure if he spoke in French or English.  If the word is French, then according to Oxford French-English dictionary, it means fill, decorate, cover, line, garnish) and take notes as most of the work will be done by him and his assitant Derrick from 9am.  I am happy to be of extra help and learn as much as possible.  He told me that after I learn sugarcraft and other advanced techniques in level 2 & 3 from Chef Philippe, I would be pretty good in artistic construction - he likened design, woodcraft, tiling etc in building his restaurant to techniques similar in pastry!!??  As it is, he and his partner bought the restaurant 2 years ago, and did everything from scratch to what I saw today except the electricity and sewage.  Wow!  I saw an exquisitely crafted wooden floor-to-ceiling wine bottle rack behind me.  Yes, it was built by them because ”we couldn’t find one we like… custom-made would be too expensive”.  The arch at the front was erected by 6 men, he added Chef Philippe was there to help too.  I was both amazed and inspired – I still can’t saw a piece of wood, the closest I have done was to use a bread knife to cut meringue with praline cream and “don’t crack it” for the morning break today.  I am still hopeful.

When I stepped out of the restaurant, it started pouring.  I had forgotten to check the bus route.  A familiar bus number I found at the bus stop, I took bus 27 before which will connect me to bus 40 at 11th Street.  When I finally got off the bus, the rain stopped.  I got back, managed to refill my mobile phone value, flipped opened the book once again, and … zonked out.

It was 9pm when I woke up.  Today was kind to me, and it was Definitely a Great Day indeed!  I Believe Tomorrow will be Another Great Day for me.

A Scribbler in Action

I have always been a scribbler, I am not sure when this habit started.  I penned down my thoughts, ideas, observations, words that people shared that I wanted to remember, websites and book titles that inspired me or I just wanted to check out, even incidents that affected me and I thrashed out my emotions by writing to overcome the negativity.  When I was younger, I would draw pictures and patterns.  I still draw continuous patterns mindlessly sometimes when I am on the phone.  Scribbling also led me to invent my trademark signature which really look like an egg and some nonsensical lines! (note: my signature is actually a laterally inverted J in cursive writing, with my name “ling” in Chinese characters).  

I have no official journal, I scribble everywhere – note books, scraps, napkins when I am out at cafes, draft messages on my mobile phone, draft email messages, word document etc.  No, I don’t write on my palm, I don’t like it.  When I first came to Houston, I carried small and large note books, and writing pads and a bag of stationery in my luggage.  Now I felt assured that H.E.B., Walgreen, Giant Dollars are just minutes away.

In class, Chef Sebastien advised us to write on the recipes provided - the steps he noted on the board, things he said, things we observed him doing.  He would say in the beginning, “I may ask during the quiz”.  Now it is automatic.

Chef Kris encouraged us to keep a journal when we work in the kitchen, whether we are from cuisine or pastry.  He shared this during the ServSafe class, above what he was teaching on ServSafe.  He advised that we should note down what the mentoring chefs say and do, the key observations, learning even things that did not turn happen the way it should.  He would have a journal for each station and for each change of station.  He assured us we would get so much out of it.

I have been thinking of starting a blog for a long time.  My excuse has always been the technicalities, then I think it is too public.  When I came to Houston, I committed myself to starting one so that I can document  my experience in Houston for myself as well as to share my life with my loved ones and friends in Singapore and in other parts of the world.  In my first 4 weeks, I used to repeat a same update and reply to different set of people 8-10 times via email, facebook, sms, telecalls, it was a different update for each week, then it got tedious and time-consuming, and I got bored.  Now I would just say “Refer to my blog” in response to “How have you been?” or “How is your week?” or “Any updates?”.

I write so that I can remember the thinking, the happening and the emotions at a point in time.  I write so that I can look back and laugh over my own ignorance and thinking in retrospect.  I write so that I can shelf my thought and I can experience my life forward.  As a side effect, I write so that my friends and relatives  can access my journal, and we move on in tandem in life.   

I have kept my blog under-wrapped for a while, I was catching up on my writing and transferring some notes from a note book I have scribbled on.  I am still catching up on these experiences.  Then finally I told my hubby BK about it last Thursday.  He read, he was encouraging and happy for me.  I wrote this to a good friend Nath, who in her words still can’t understand some part of me (my elusive self and my strong feeling towards friends who talked too much and too casually), “Then I decided since I am writing a blog, whoever is interested can read, whoever that read can point the blog to whoever interested but not reading (hee).  So my stuff remains first hand to my friends.”   So I shared my blog with a friend on 8 August, and then to a big group of friends on 10 August, many of them finding out for the first time I have relocated to Houston.  I felt relieved, there is no more excuse that I am elusive or I am not sharing anymore. 

“See if you can add privacy to it…”

I received a lot of comments via email and facebook which kept me awake and busy replying.  Nath commented that “…you are more ready to share and more open about your life to others, including the not-so-close people…”.  I invited my friends to comment on my blog so that their comments will be documented too as part of my life journey.  Another good friend Nic wrote to me via email “but I think the whole world can see my comments. See if you can add privacy to it…”.  Privacy?  What privacy?  I have already shared so much and there is also no privacy.  So It is not just me, most people would like to keep a part of them private.  But commenting on my blog with privacy?  Come on.

Probably that was how I felt

A friend actually took time to check out my blog and helped me to look out for English Grammar errors, Kim commented, “…A couple of sentences were quite run-on and it was hard to figure out what you were trying to say.  Maybe break it up with a period (full stop) or two…”   I relooked at my entry and thought about it, I responded to her, “hmm, that shows my thinking then… NO full stop ;p”  And the same for my life then.  If it sounds fragmented to you, it probably was then in my life.  If it sounds stupid and funny to you, it is highly probable too.  If I sound chirpy and excited, that must really be how I felt.  If ever, you detect any negative emotion or sadness, it is time you drop me a line or two.

“Mr LeNotre would like to see you…”

During my lab class yesterday, Jean-Luc, School Asst Admission Director, signalled to me to have a word with me outside the class.  He has discovered my blog the previous day to my shock.  He told me Mr LeNotre would like to see me, and it was about what I wrote. Did I write something inappropriate?  No No No, we like it, continue writing and continue writing the same way, he assured me.  I told him I need to tell Chef Sebastien first because I included a picture of him on my blog.  Chef Sebastien is my chef instructor for level 1 and he doesn’t like us to take picture of him in class, only the pastries he was teaching us.  I went up to Chef, slightly nervous, “Chef, I got a journal website and the school found out, Mr LeNotre would like to see me later”  And you got into trouble?  He looked concerned.  No Chef, I wanted to tell you I put a picture of you on my blog and it may be shared.  This time he looked shocked.  Show me, show me your website.  I assured him I put up a nice picture of him on the site.  His reaction made me laugh. 

I saw Mr LeNotre at his office, with Jean-Luc.  I saw that a set of my blog articles were printed out on his desk.  He told me he liked what I wrote and would like to share with the rest of the students. It was a mixed emotion – excited that they actually thought my writing is inspiring, nervous that everyone would now know what I did and what I wrote about the chefs etc, worried that my blog may sound crappy to schoolmates who were at a different stage of life.  See, I am in my mid-thirties and a career changer, and more than half of the students are late teens or in their early 20s.  Okay!  And I didn’t let my mind think further. 

Mr LeNotre asked about what I wrote and my background.  I am a psychology graduate who never wrote well in school.  I am always short of descriptive vocabulary … but I just wrote for myself, it is not written for anyone else.  I realised it is easy when the words and emotions came from my heart and my actual thinking and experiences.  They were curious why I blocked access to “10 Good Advice by Mr Alain LeNotreProtected“.  I told him I paid so much school fees to attend his school and to have an orientation session with him, so I am not sharing it with anyone else.  Laughters!  You gave password to friends who wanted to read?   No, I gave no one. I gave Jean-Luc my password though, so maybe he can share with Mr LeNotre and correct me if I documented any advice wrongly, and give me additional bonus advice.  Laugh.  I was more excited and appreciative of some talk time with Mr LeNotre and seeking his advice for my career than the idea of my blog being linked to the school website.  As I was leaving, he said “my door is always open”. 

Things happen for good reasons indeed, I smiled, all because of my virtual scribbles.

So which way is The Way?

I am still awake at 3am, another 2.5 hours before I need to prepare for school.  It has happened for the third consecutive night already.  It all started on Sunday when I stayed up to study for the quiz – the quiz only had 10 questions so I wouldn’t attribute to the materials I need to study - I have this habit since school days when I studied for tests and exams, I am not sure if it is anxiety.  I zonked out by the next evening, the next evening and again this evening… 

I was walking to school after I got down from bus 23 at Crosstimber @ NFwy yesterday. WRONG WAY, a red sign appeared in my path. I have never noticed this before even though I have been walking the same route for 6 weeks already.  For the next 5 minutes as I continued walking towards the culinary institute, my mind wandered away.  This morning, when I saw the sign again, my mind wandered to where I left off yesterday.  I realized my random thoughts stopped automatically once I stepped into CIAML compound, I become  pre-occupied with lab time for the day…

~I only take the 2 way pavement!~

~I only take the 2 way pavement!~

Was that a Sign for me?  Seriously this thought flashed through my mind.  Nay, I decided I have already chosen to walk on the right path.  See, I walk on the pavement and this same path takes me to and fro the bus stop and school, I do not walk on the one way street against the flow of traffic…

Similarly in life, I have since learnt to move with the flow – the flow of what I really feel energized doing, the flow of my passion and interest, the flow of what motivate me, the flow that my life will lead in the next 50 years.  Yes, I do think about this very much since 911, economic crisis and SARS, all these that happened in the last couple of years…

I have learned lots about marketing, and about my life in the last 13 years as a marketing professional in the pharmaceutical industry.  The job took me to experience various cultures, management styles, different types of people in various environment.  I learnt about systems, SOPs, structured thinking, marketing planning and resilience during my first 9 years with my first company Merck Sharp & Dohme, then about cultures, speed, execution and results with Serono, about people management and business planning with Stiefel, about keeping and appreciating relations with the colleagues and friends I made at Edwards Lifesciences.  I believe that things happen for good reasons, and almost always they are for good reasons which we may only appreciate later.

I decided to follow my heart, and left the industry and corporate environment which has been a key part of my life and built my character in last 13 years.  I can’t say for sure, which way is it for me in the future, but in my heart, I know I am following the flow, certainly not the wrong way.

My basis in living my life – Integrity.  All else follows – Learn like how a child would, Be interested more than be interesting, Observe and practise to perfection, Savour the greatness of each experience, Understand and Apply what I learnt and I Can Choose the way I lead my life - all else follows.  Things continue to happen for good reasons.

Sharing a Dessert with Strangers

I am no fan of sweets, I never enjoyed sugar high and the sweet after taste, I love desserts with texture, and a tinge of full bodied sour-sweetness. 

When I arrived in Houston, I decided to supplement my Baking & Pastry Arts education with a weekly visit to a bakery cafe.  I will get to explore areas in Houston, educate my taste buds, and understand the depth and breath of product offering and concepts in these businesses.  If I commit to this schedule, I would have visited at least 20 bakery cafe businesses by the end of my 20 week education.

One evening, I chanced upon Houston Dessert Meetup Group while doing a search on cafes.  Why not?  At least I get to go places I may otherwise miss during this journey.  My first date with the group was The Sweet Factory @ Hillcroft on 26 July.

I would usually research on the bus route during the week for my weekend outing.  The total journey to my destination would take about an hour and a half.  I was engaged throughout the journey and  noted many interesting cafes and places along Westheimer and noted on my map.  I arrived 2 hours ahead of my meetup time.

~A halal supermarket~

~An halal supermarket~

Jerusalem Halal Supermarket?  I walked in and found familiarity, eg. milo, among the middle eastern goods.  I emerged an hour later with a packet each of chick peas, rice flour, basmati rice and a box of masala tea.  I have no plan on how I am going to cook them but I just found the products very Asian and homely.  An hour more to go, and with no other shops to venture, I was tempted to have lunch at the only restaurant along the middle eastern stretch.

Guatemala is in Central America, I learnt.  I decided on Pollo En Amarillo, the menu stated “chicken in yellow sauce with rice and vegetable”.  It tasted like homemade curry, minus the spices and was sweet.  I wanted a traditional drink and the wait staff recommended me Atol De Elote, it was under Hot Drink section of the menu.  Is it a tea?  No.  Is it a milk or yogurt?  No.  What is it?  Hot.  That was my conversation with her.  Okay, I will have one.  I wasn’t too sure how I was convinced, I guess because it is an authentic Guatemala drink.  A yellow drink came.  I took a sip and it tasted good though a little sweet and starchy.  Good?  I told her I liked it, so What is it?  I asked again.  Corn.  She answered me this time.  So I downed sweet curry rice, and a big cup of corn puree for lunch.  That makes up 2 full portions of carbohydrates for lunch.  Burp! 

I walked into The Sweet Factory, a Lebanese bakery cafe, smiled at 2 persons who looked at me expectantly.  They are Michelle, and Bella of the Meetup Group.  Amanda joined us shortly.  Michelle is a practicing attorney in Family Law, Bella will graduate with a degree in Marketing in 6 month’s time, and Amanda is a paralegal assistant who also teaches belly dancing.  We each bought what we like and shared with the rest. I bought butter cookies, and 2 other jam-filled pistachio cookies.  I don’t like cookies, I bought them because I read in a review about the cafe that the cookies were good.  A lady by the next table came over, I didn’t even get her name, she looked at what we ordered, decided we were missing the real stuff, and bought each of us a cream filled filo pastry, and left the cafe happily.  Oh!  That was really yummy!  And who was she again, we really had no idea but we knew she had exactly 3 cream-filled filo pastries. 
~The Sweet Factory~

~The Sweet Factory~

It is interesting how we experience new things when our heart accepts the invitation readily.  I wouldn’t have known this middle-eastern town exists, that Guatemala is a place in Central America, that it is a joy making friends with strangers of common passion, that I can accept sweets from a stranger which I was taught never to since a child, and that a cream-filled filo pastry taste so good. 

Later in school, Chef Sebastien told me we may make filo pastry in class if we have time.  Smile, that is another sweet treat!

Sharing & Living Life Forward with Zest

As I stood at the bus stop this morning waiting for bus 40 on Ella Blvd @ T C Jester Blvd, I suddenly realized I have been staring at a shop front daily without giving it much notice.  It is usually open by the time I reach the bus stop at 6.50am.  It is Mary Lee’s Donuts. 

~View from the bus stop every morning~

~View from the bus stop every morning~

I have never liked donuts since I was small, I often associate it with sticky hands after I put my hands into the plastic bag containing the ”moist syrup” donuts Dad would bring home at the end of his work day, which I learnt later in life they were plain donuts dusted with fine sugar.  I never got to like them even when I tried a couple in the past years due to donut frenzy in Singapore.  I did not like the after taste of sugar in my mouth.  My most recent taste of it was a Shipley’s Donuts breakfast treat from my classmate April.  I will try one from the shop one day… 

I took to taking public buses when I relocated to Houston.  It means long waiting time for bus connection, especially in the hot afternoon sun after school.  I realized, though it seldom comes to my consciousness, I often stared blankly into something, with thoughts and images simply filling my mind.  This was not so in my first week in the unfamiliar environment, I was on super high alert to the point of paranoia, I was often scanning the environment, the objects, and the people suspiciously.

From my recent virtual communication with a few friends back in Singapore and around the world (The World is Flat!), I decided that I would soon share on the virtual space about my current life and my thoughts.  I have been elusive and non-committal to update even close pals, some of whom I managed to inform after I have finally settled down in Houston.  There was a time I decided whoever not in my constant contact need not know too much about me, I was uncomfortable at the level of “mind-my-business”.  From this point forward, I am ready to share, I think. 

“Thank you, you have a great day!”  I said to the lady bus driver I meet on a daily basis, got off the bus, crossed the street to 34th Street.  My next bus should be here in 10 minutes.

As I get older I like attending gatherings less.  It is a contradiction, since as I get older, I also make an effort to attend gatherings, whether it is among friends or family, I make a point to make it for people who organise it and for people who make time for it.  I choose to live life with No Excuse.

“How are you?”, “How are things with you?”, “Are you still working at the same company”, “What do you do right now?” etc.  “I am ok”, “fine”, “err, when was that I last told you … Oh no, I am not working”, “err, …” etc.  Next.  The routine and superficial connection bored me and bothered me.  The chatting will last the next 2 hours, and we have no further contact with the persons for next 6 months to a year for promising cases, and for years in some others.  The loads of superficiaries got off-loaded soon after and our lives continue.  Try as I might, I can’t keep up with the lives of people around me.  So I am guilty of all the questions and answers that have become so automatic, which sound as meaningless to them as it is to me.

My Past: I Learned, I Move on ~ Joys

I am a nostalgic person, but I have long outgrown my past.  My past could be as recent as seconds ago, but more realistically, it is as recent as June 2008.  We may look no different from months or years back, but we feel, think and live differently.  Do not be mistaken by my reference to past association, I appreciate you as you are at this point.  “Oh, you are so different now… Last time, you always …”.  Yes, you are right, it was my last time.

My Future: If I know, I will not be here as I am today ~ Joys

Don’t worry about my future too.  I often get questions on what I want to do in future, and all go into the mode of fortune-telling.  That bothers me too, because I really do not know, if I know I will not be here as I am today.  I will be where I strive and thrive to be then.  Focus and appreciate my present.  Questions, especially those that I asked myself and did not have answers for only create barriers for me taking another step forward.  I do not want to explain uncertainties because I do not know how to. 

My Present: I Am as I Choose To Be ~ Joys

I choose to be a career-changer, I choose not to indulge in excuses, I choose not to waste precious moments away in mindless chats, at one point I chose only to be open with a special few.  From this point forward, I choose to be open and share my outlook in living my life. 

I am in Houston now because I choose to.  I choose to trade the comforts back home in the short term for a learning experience in Pastry & Baking which I (we – that includes BK.  I am here because he encourages me in pursuing my vision and mission in our lives) believe will last me (us!) a life time.

Know Me First Hand

Hear me, hear me First Hand from My Heart; Know me, know me First Hand from Yours. ~ Joys

The bus reached Crosstimbers @ NFwy, <Stop requested> sign turned on, … it is not the same bus driver today… I got off the bus, scanned the environment briefly and walked forward.  Looking forward to another new day in school.  It has really been enjoyable, all because I choose to.