Category Archives: A New Beginning

What Will Happen to My Journal Entries?

Posted on December 1, 2008 | 1 Comment

Interesting question … I was asked this Q a couple of times today.  By Chef Kris, by Jean-Luc, by Mr LeNotre…  I have never given myself a conclusion.

I gave myself an official last day to be at the Culinary Institute ~ I guess today was the last time I bid farewell to Mr & Mrs LeNotre, my Chefs, most friends and individuals at the culinary institute.  Each time I stepped into the Culinary Institute, my emotion got complex … these are the familiarities I grew so accustomed to for the past 20+ weeks in Houston which gave me a sense of belonging and comfort, these are the friends and individuals I have come to know halfway round the globe and may never see for some years to come.  The emotion itself is not something I want to deal with openly.

When Chef Kris asked me the Q this morning, …

I told him I am unlikely to continue my entries.  I was never a natural writer before Houston, I started this journal as a platform for me to park my thoughts and document my precious moments in Houston, for my family and friends to reach out to my inner space without me repeating myself.  So when I leave for Singapore, is Baking Joys In Houston still relevant?

As I thought more about it now, I start to have conflicting thoughts.  This really happens because my mind is cluttered and unavailable to process clearly.  Relevance?  Yes, because it continues to document my Baking & Pastry Art journey from where I began ~ in Houston  … now the journal entry serves as a platform to update the individuals in Houston who care about me  and my journey in Singapore post Houston – these individuals become my adopted family I am leaving for my family back home in Singapore.  It was exactly why the journal entry started in the first place – to update my family and friends in Singapore when I left for CIAML on 30 June.  Oh, has my thought become clearer?  Seems so … Or should the Baking Joys be uprooted and be planted in Singapore instead?  Goodness, why am I going in circles again.

Chef Kris believed I can write, and I can write simple and strike a connection.  His belief in me is stronger than mine of me - I judged myself to be limited in vocab and thus the use of simple expressions.  He repetitively drumed the belief in me, much better than my year 1 GP (General Paper) tutor ever did for me.

When Jean-Luc asked me the Q this afternoon, …

I told him No, the site is just going to crash without warning … My last message to all on 13 Dec 2008 will be titled Arrived Home Safe, Take Care … and the site will just vanish on Sunday, 14 Dec 2008.  Jean-Luc must have taken me seriously because he told me he needs to save some files before the site disappears, especially the last entry I wrote on My Tributes to the Important Individuals upon My Graduation.  I laughed.

I am not so crazy and irresponsible to just vanish and erase all my memories.  I always believe it is easier for me to pack and go than to stay behind and experience the missing bits and pieces.  My entries were connection to my precious times in Houston and the inspirations I travelled the world over to find and will always remain so. 

When Mr LeNotre asked me the same Q this afternoon, …

In fact, Mr LeNotre did not ask, he assumed so.  He told me to continue to update my progress updates in Singapore on my journal entry and he believed I will be successful.

Many times, I was driven by the expectations and faith important individuals placed on me, rather I was inspired to achieve or even exceed my own limit… I am not sure if it is because I do not want to disappoint or I never did, it is a blur.

The conclusion for now is that it is going to stay, as a channel or a memory bank, I do not know.

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Posted in A New Beginning, About Me & Stuff, Day to Day, Words

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Back to School … in Semi-Darkness…

Posted on September 23, 2008 | 2 Comments

— Day 1, New Term Level 2

BK woke me at 5am, it was about 8pm Sydney time.  I just slept for about 2hr.  He was calling to make sure I did not miss the first day of class after Ike and he knew I was really looking forward to it.

When I reached Allensby about 7.40am, there were some vehicles parked already at the school compound - hmm… must be the new students as they would usually be early on the first day – exactly what happened 10 weeks ago when we were.  Then I saw the generator? … then the unlit stairways? … then heard the familiar voice … “careful“…  Elyse was holding the flash light to shine the stairway for us.  Ever chirpy and high spirited, I was happy to see Elyse … oh she and Jean-Luc still did not have power at their home at Memorial …. huh?  Expect to have it on in Oct?  …  “Go to the library…”  What??!!  Why? … I want to go to the lab.  They were trying to crowd control the number of students streaming in for the new term.  I borrowed Elyse’s flash light to change into my uniform in the restroom.  I took out all my tools … “You won’t need all that today huh…”  Elyse told me as I returned her flashlight.  Huh? I don’t need tools today? 

By the corner, I saw Chef Sebastien, … another familiar face, I went forward to give Chef a hug.  It is really nice to come back to familiarity after a week away from school.  Chef Laurent came to me, “You only give your chef a hug, what about me?”  Of course!  I was so happy to see everyone.  Then Sarah came, “oh, I am so happy to be back, so happy to see you” , I said to her … we chatted.  Even if there was no class today, we were happy to be back.  Then Elizabeth, then Jennie…  I decided to put my tool bag back into the locker.

As I get round the corner, I saw Chef Philippe with a group of students.  Oh I am so happy to see Chef too!  Chef Philippe Richard would be my new Chef in the new level 2 & 3 10 week term.  It was already 8.20am.  Class usually starts at 8.15am but I guess it was special as half the school was in semi-darkness - apparently, the labs were running on electricity, some parts by generators since the power came from another side of the street where power was still down.  “See you in class in 5 minutes” from Chef Philippe.  Wow, we were more than happy to do so.  When I stood in the lab, as I looked at Chef and I looked at all the familiar faces around me, I wanted to smile head to toes, it was more than ear to ear.  Oh come on, I really missed such familiarity!  I was trying to contain myself and look more normal.  Chef Philippe started his brief for us when everyone was in class – there are still 9 of us, like in level 1 but some faces were replaced by others.  No Roberto – he has graduated, No Jennifer – she is into academic lesson this term, No Amanda - apparently she didn’t secure a loan to continue her terms.  We have Christine – who had just completed 3rd level of cuisine and will be graduating with double Diplomas, and Ashley and Amber returning from academic term.

“Week 1: mousse cakes … week 2: chocolate … week 3: dough etc … week 4: research, plating … week 5: sugar and pastillage …”, Chef Philippe gave us a brief of what to expect – Yes, we may repeat what we did in level 1 but with level 2 & 3, we have to do as if and think in terms of 10s and 100s of production portion and sharpen our presentations, level 1 had focused on techniques.  And also what was expected of us – sanitation, uniforms, what to bring to lessons, read and bring to class On Baking …  Then the make-up hours, Chef left it to us if we preferred make up lessons on Sat or evenings, most of us preferred lessons on Sat.  Chef was even willing to extend make-up hours till the day before Thanks-giving which would be hols for many of them before new term.

The air inside the room got a little warm.  After 2 short breaks, Chef decided that was the end of Day 1, it was 9.30am.  We were to meet next morning at 8.15am.  Wow, we were happy to be back.  During the break, Jennie told me that they would be going to Cafe Brazil and they would wait for me.  Jennie had wanted to introduce me to the cafe two weekends ago when I told her I enjoyed pancakes, waffles and crepes … but we were tired the day after Gala and decided to postpone to the Saturday after our finals, then Ike came.  We chatted a little at the stone table outside the building, we can leave but the Chef got to be in the institute for evening lessons … gosh!  Then 6 of us went to Cafe Brazil for breakfast together – Marlene, Raffaella, Jennie, Sarah, April and me.

— Day 2, New Term Level 2

Enjoyed today’s lesson on Chocolate tremendously – a good mix of theories from Chef Philippe and the chocolate tempering we were introduced in level 1.  It was initially cool in Chef Emmanuel’s cuisine lab, but we got warm especially after we started work on the chocolate tempering but it still suited us fine (hmm … retropectively).  We were happy just to start learning.  Chef Philippe is knowledgeable, precise in his instructions and recommendations for desired results, and had answers for what if’s, whats, hows, whys … and his expectations of the state we should return Chef Emmanuel’s cuisine lab.  He would repeat some instruction while we practised our chocolate tempering.   “If you don’t know, you take notes“… “Any questions?“… “If I don’t say anything, you are doing ok“…  “Read up the chapter on Chocolate“, as he went through the text book chapter in On Baking with us.  As the room got warmer, we realized later none of our chocolate set within 3 minutes - April was telling me she was disappointed her chocolate did not set, I laughed and I told her so did mine, so did Sarah’s, so did Elizabeth’s … 

When we arrived at the culinary institute this morning, the school was still in semi-darkness.  Sarah and I looked at each other and wondered if we were to have lessons.  But I don’t see Chef Philippe?  Sarah confirmed she saw him when she was turning in.  Great!  We will definitely have something.  Then we heard we were going on a field trip to Hong Kong market with Chef Laurent’s cuisine class.  Then I saw Chef Philippe, “Be in class in 10min, tell everyone.”   We did not go on the field trip, but we enjoyed our first lesson in Chef Philippe’s class – “we” may be too much of generalisation, at least between Sarah and I. 

We will continue with lessons tomorrow.  Chef said that if we still don’t get power back, he will think of something else for us.  Yes!  

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Posted in A New Beginning, Chefs, Day to Day

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Missing The Man at Home

Posted on August 27, 2008 | 3 Comments

Last night, I was trying to open a new bottle of mineral water and the cap just wouldn’t budge – tried as I might – I scraped some skin off my right palm and cut my left index finger - ouch! – And it still wouldn’t budge.  I immediately thought of BK and sms him so – ha … he was then on the flight to Seoul.  Every now and then, little things happened that nudged me he is not here with me, especially when I needed TLC.  Now the cap is finally opened - Jennie taught me to leverage on the back handles of a scissor or a tool when The Man is not around, so I tried with that of a turn-screw can opener and it worked!  She mentioned to me about living without The Man at Home!!??  Hee.

When I first came to Houston, I knew nuts about the direction here.  Today I still can’t tell which part of Houston is E or W till I read the map.  The bus route still confuses me, especially when it states Eastbound or Westbound, I recognise and remember places way better.  I read the map pretty well though, so at least that helps me get around.

BK was here with me for a week.  He made sure I got an apartment that is in a safe environment and comfortable enough for me to live in, he got most of the bulky necessities stocked up for next 5 months while I am here, he visited the school with me to make sure the culinary institute I have chosen to come all the way from Singapore for exists and it is as what the website stated, he oriented me to the bus stops so that I am at the right one to go to school each morning and back, he drove the bus routes so that I became familiar with the environment and could go places.  After he has done all these, he told me he felt comfortable and he was ready to head back to Singapore … I felt sad… and he said I will be fine living in Houston alone.

In the first week, when I wanted to visit a pastry cafe, he checked the bus route and timing for me so that I wouldn’t get lost, I just couldn’t make sense of bus 40 bus stops, there are 4 bus stops in 4 different directions?  Singapore time is 13 hours ahead of Houston, this meant that when I was going out on Saturday mid morn, it was already late at night for him.  One day I told him, I have got to read the metro myself, and I did.

We chatted and webcam via skype daily, that was before he joined a new company where skype usage was not permitted.  Now we are on MSN IM.  We still prefer to talk via skype and he had it loaded on his mini notebook.  He gives me wake-up calls every morning… oops yes! … mostly from Singapore, recently in Hong Kong and today from Seoul, Korea wherever he made his business travels.   I remembered there was one morning he missed my wake-up call and I didn’t wake up to catch the bus.  April came to save my day and got me to school early that day.  He called and was worried I missed school … Ha ha …  Of course I wasn’t mad, I felt pampered he remembered my wake up time whatever he was doing and wherever he was.  That day, I remembered Chef Sebastien looked at me in disbelief, “You got an overseas wake-up call from your husband everyday?“  Yes, I still do, even though now I hear my alarm clock better.

Every weekend, he would brunch with my dad to update him on me over local carrot cakes, char kway teow and kopi at a neighbourhood hawker centre - my dad just could not associate himself with technology to keep up with my updates.  In the beginning, BK would print out pictures and gave dad a run through based on the scripts I wrote for each pix.  More recently, he would print out my blog entries so that my dad got to keep up with my thinking and happenings.  I am really thankful he has a good relationship with my dad and my family.  Every Friday whenever he is not travelling, he would visit my parent’s cum brother’s home to have dinner, mum would cook him special dishes as he needs to eat out most of the week when I am not around.  My sis-in-law told me once he stayed to watch a Barbie doll movie with my 3 little nieces – how nice!  He is a patient guy and would usually play with them.  Now he will attend all the family birthday celebrations as we did from June to Dec each year – yes all the birthdays at home are all between June to December, all 14 of them … and we celebrate them… I miss all these family celebration!  My dad turned 69 last month and he set up a skype webcam so that I got to celebrate for my dad too.  How thoughtful and cool!

I am thankful I can live my passion and share a common goal with The Man at Home.  I am looking forward to his trip to Houston when I earn my Diploma in Baking and Pastry Arts.  And then I will be back home in Singapore.  Smile!

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Beijing Olympics: Congratulations, Singapore!

Posted on August 17, 2008 | 1 Comment

On Friday, my husband skyped me that Singapore will make historic moment today when the Singapore Table Tennis team play China in Ladies Team Finals.  He has been updating me with the Olympics news, I have yet to figure out how I can watch the games over the internet.

A search on BBC Sport Olympics on 15 August 2008 was headlined

Singapore into Table Tennis Final
Singapore are guaranteed their first Olympic medal since 1960 after beating South Korea to reach the final of the women’s table tennis team event…Tan Howe Liang’s weightlifting silver in Rome was Singapore’s only previous Olympic medal…

2 days later…

Channel Newsasia reported – Singapore paddlers settle for silver in women’s team final…  “Both China and Singapore are winners,” said Singaporean coach Liu Guodong. “For us to win silver is as difficult as it is for China to win gold.”   Li Jiawei added: “I’m really happy and feel like crying, but I just could not get any tears to roll. We know the Chinese team are the best in the world and it was an honour to play against them in the final.  “This medal is important to me and Singapore. It is also to the many years of nurturing Singapore has given me. And the only way I can repay Singapore is with this medal. Thank you Singapore. Thank you everyone for your support.”

Li Jiawei is the captain of the women table tennis team for Singapore.  She left her hometown Beijing at the age of 15 and adopted Singapore as her new home for the last 12 years.

I feel so proud of Team Singapore!  Congratulations to Singapore Table Tennis Ladies Team for giving Singapore the 1st medal in 48 years (who cares about the colour of metal!?) as well as Tao Li, who secured a 5th placing in 100m Butterfly among the giants, the first Singapore swimmer to ever qualify for an Olympic swimming final… 谢谢大家的坚持！ 请继续加油！

We are Singapore, Singaporeans!

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Posted in A New Beginning, Inspirations

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Sharing & Living Life Forward with Zest

Posted on August 9, 2008 | 2 Comments

As I stood at the bus stop this morning waiting for bus 40 on Ella Blvd @ T C Jester Blvd, I suddenly realized I have been staring at a shop front daily without giving it much notice.  It is usually open by the time I reach the bus stop at 6.50am.  It is Mary Lee’s Donuts. 

~View from the bus stop every morning~

~View from the bus stop every morning~

I have never liked donuts since I was small, I often associate it with sticky hands after I put my hands into the plastic bag containing the ”moist syrup” donuts Dad would bring home at the end of his work day, which I learnt later in life they were plain donuts dusted with fine sugar.  I never got to like them even when I tried a couple in the past years due to donut frenzy in Singapore.  I did not like the after taste of sugar in my mouth.  My most recent taste of it was a Shipley’s Donuts breakfast treat from my classmate April.  I will try one from the shop one day… 

I took to taking public buses when I relocated to Houston.  It means long waiting time for bus connection, especially in the hot afternoon sun after school.  I realized, though it seldom comes to my consciousness, I often stared blankly into something, with thoughts and images simply filling my mind.  This was not so in my first week in the unfamiliar environment, I was on super high alert to the point of paranoia, I was often scanning the environment, the objects, and the people suspiciously.

From my recent virtual communication with a few friends back in Singapore and around the world (The World is Flat!), I decided that I would soon share on the virtual space about my current life and my thoughts.  I have been elusive and non-committal to update even close pals, some of whom I managed to inform after I have finally settled down in Houston.  There was a time I decided whoever not in my constant contact need not know too much about me, I was uncomfortable at the level of “mind-my-business”.  From this point forward, I am ready to share, I think. 

“Thank you, you have a great day!”  I said to the lady bus driver I meet on a daily basis, got off the bus, crossed the street to 34th Street.  My next bus should be here in 10 minutes.

As I get older I like attending gatherings less.  It is a contradiction, since as I get older, I also make an effort to attend gatherings, whether it is among friends or family, I make a point to make it for people who organise it and for people who make time for it.  I choose to live life with No Excuse.

“How are you?”, “How are things with you?”, “Are you still working at the same company”, “What do you do right now?” etc.  “I am ok”, “fine”, “err, when was that I last told you … Oh no, I am not working”, “err, …” etc.  Next.  The routine and superficial connection bored me and bothered me.  The chatting will last the next 2 hours, and we have no further contact with the persons for next 6 months to a year for promising cases, and for years in some others.  The loads of superficiaries got off-loaded soon after and our lives continue.  Try as I might, I can’t keep up with the lives of people around me.  So I am guilty of all the questions and answers that have become so automatic, which sound as meaningless to them as it is to me.

My Past: I Learned, I Move on ~ Joys

I am a nostalgic person, but I have long outgrown my past.  My past could be as recent as seconds ago, but more realistically, it is as recent as June 2008.  We may look no different from months or years back, but we feel, think and live differently.  Do not be mistaken by my reference to past association, I appreciate you as you are at this point.  “Oh, you are so different now… Last time, you always …”.  Yes, you are right, it was my last time.

My Future: If I know, I will not be here as I am today ~ Joys

Don’t worry about my future too.  I often get questions on what I want to do in future, and all go into the mode of fortune-telling.  That bothers me too, because I really do not know, if I know I will not be here as I am today.  I will be where I strive and thrive to be then.  Focus and appreciate my present.  Questions, especially those that I asked myself and did not have answers for only create barriers for me taking another step forward.  I do not want to explain uncertainties because I do not know how to. 

My Present: I Am as I Choose To Be ~ Joys

I choose to be a career-changer, I choose not to indulge in excuses, I choose not to waste precious moments away in mindless chats, at one point I chose only to be open with a special few.  From this point forward, I choose to be open and share my outlook in living my life. 

I am in Houston now because I choose to.  I choose to trade the comforts back home in the short term for a learning experience in Pastry & Baking which I (we – that includes BK.  I am here because he encourages me in pursuing my vision and mission in our lives) believe will last me (us!) a life time.

Know Me First Hand

Hear me, hear me First Hand from My Heart; Know me, know me First Hand from Yours. ~ Joys

The bus reached Crosstimbers @ NFwy, <Stop requested> sign turned on, … it is not the same bus driver today… I got off the bus, scanned the environment briefly and walked forward.  Looking forward to another new day in school.  It has really been enjoyable, all because I choose to.

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Posted in A New Beginning, Baking & Pastry Arts, Inspirations

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